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Breathe!
I have always believed that I am a good person – someone who would never hurt anyone, disrespect others, prioritize others’ needs over my own, lie, or break someone’s trust. And you know what? I still believe it! People may say, “Oh, just because you think you’re a good person, that makes you one?” Or, “Oh, so you’re already calling yourself a good person, huh? It’s for others to decide whether you’re a good person or not. You can’t decide that on your own!” This is true to some extent because goodness is also about how we make people around us feel.
But I look at it a little differently. I think to become a good person, you first have to believe that you belong to goodness. Only then can you take the steps and actions required to become one. You can’t always make everyone around you feel good because maybe someday you’ll have a bad day of your own. So, should that one day be the decider? It would be unfair.
You can’t keep blaming yourself for how others process their traumas or feelings. I have lost my goodness at various points because of how others made me feel, how they treated me, and how bad they were. It made me believe that if others’ actions could change the goodness in me, then maybe I’m not a good person at all. This made me feel sick, gross, frustrated, tired, and tragic. But we can’t avoid such feelings, really. But if you keep believing the same thing for a long, you’ll never be able to take steps to correct yourself or be good.
Goodness is about returning, being consistent, and being able to breathe. When a kid wants to become a dancer, they already think they’re a dancer. They do their broken steps, unbalanced swings, and incorrect postures. The only thing they do correctly at the beginning is shining that light through their eyes, which have a belief in them and trust their heart that already claims to be a dancer. Later they try to do the things that help them to be a better dancer because they already think of themselves as a dancer. So, they decide to be better at it.
There are many theories, studies, podcasts, and articles out there stating things to avoid feeling certain ways or things to do to avoid feeling in certain ways. But I think the truth is that we really can’t run away from what we feel, nor can we lie to ourselves about how we feel. There’s nothing we can do to avoid our feelings. So, what do we do? I would say try to create something that will again emerge feelings within, but this time, not the ones you want to run away from, but the ones you’re just fine with. They say, “We never lose our demons; we only learn to live above them.” So, create another feeling that, with time, will fly above the feeling that drains you and consumes you. Learn to Breathe! Learn to be good each day. Learn to fly above those feeling which drags you down. But most importantly learn to breathe deep! & Love Me!