In love… we usually pay attention to their side of love, what they have to offer to us? How integral is their love? How loyal are they towards us? How much is their involvement in the relationship? This is okay, but should we not worry about our offerings, integrity, and participation in the relationship? What about us? It is a fact that we give a lot of importance to their offerings towards the relationship. They should be loyal. They should be honest about everything; they should be consistent about their actions, be caring, be empathetic, etc. We start expecting a lot without giving anything. We start demanding a lot without offering anything. 

We never really care about our love for them, our loyalty towards them, our honesty to the relation, our truthfulness to them, our consistency towards the relationship, our integrity! Do we?? A relationship can get better if we bother about our offerings. Integrity and the offering issues happen because we are habitual to expecting before giving. The most basic and strongest relationship that we have firstly in our lives is the relationship with our parents. They only give, give, n give us. They do not demand things from us in return for what they do; they keep on giving because somewhere they love us unconditionally. That’s why we don’t learn to offer; we don’t get used to the giving part. We understand and get used to the taking and expecting part. After that, friends come into our lives, even here we don’t learn this give n take much, coz we are at a stage where we are entering a new world, we want to get accepted and loved. We want to make friends, so here we either keep offering or expecting from our friends. Like if you are that cool kid around, you get used to the expecting part from other kids, as they want to be your friend. N if you are that ordinary kid, you get used to the offering part, as you want them to accept you as their friend, you try hard to be part of their group. Also, In this phase, we all are pushing our boundaries and exploring things. The comfort level compensates for everything else. Like anything can be shared, anything can be said; that’s why loyalty or the give n take thing takes a back seat. Every single relationship evolves with time. It never remains the same as it was in the beginning.

Now where the problem exists? Our parents do all for us out of pure love, but most of the relationships these days are not unconditional. They are full of conditions, demands, expectations, and other bullshit! So, once we get into the relationship, it gets hard for us to focus on our offerings, as we are not used to it. N that’s why we only demand, expect without bothering about our offerings to them. So, here efforts are a must. We must change ourselves a little for a good n positive outcome, to correct ourselves. It’s okay to be wrong, but it’s never okay to stay wrong. Correction is a must at any point where you realize that you need it. Some people realize, understand, and appreciate the other person’s offerings. They value it and wish to offer the same. Few people don’t even realize how much more the other person is doing for them. They keep on accepting without even realizing it, without even acknowledging it. N this indeed creates an issue; when a person is not acknowledged or appreciated in the relationship. 

N what goes wrong here is some people just get up and try to walk out of the relationship without even addressing the issue. No, you need to talk it through; you need to give your relationship a chance before getting yourself out of it. Because anyways, you have invested your time, your emotions, your money, your belief, your trust all into it. Communication plays an important part here. You have to sit with them, put the thought across. Make them realize how you feel about this no-acknowledgment part. Because if they’re genuine, it will help them realize that they are not doing the things required for the relationship to go well. They need to make few changes. They need to give back, too; they need to appreciate. Communication is the key in any relationship; for solving any issue. Unless you let the other person know that what’s going on with you, how you feel about things, how you want things to be, they wouldn’t understand it all by themselves. It will help if you sit n talk. There is no point in just sitting and getting hurt. You can’t just sit and expect the other person to know what you are going through. So, get up and talk today! N yeah, appreciate each other for the small thing that you do. Smile when you look at each other; it helps to deal with whatever is going on in life. Value who loves you. Value the love you have in your life before it gets away.   

 

What this blog concludes:

  1. Integrity is all about how true you are with yourself when they are not around.
  2. You can’t really control their integrity, but you can always control yours!
  3. Be honest about your offerings; it is of great consequences.
  4. Please don’t lose your integrity because of their actions, because they can be the wrong person, but you are not!
  5. Don’t expect without giving. Don’t demand without offering.
  6. Practice giving, practice kindness, practice Integrity!
  7. Appreciation and acknowledgment lead to great blessings.
  8. Value yourself, value your love, raise your standards.
  9. Don’t just sit n let yourself get hurt; get up and speak!
  10. Integrity is not a condition; it’s a ground rule for a great life.