Depression is a beast that doesn’t play fair. It’s not just about feeling sad—it’s about being trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, where the lines between reality and despair blur. For me, distinguishing between when I’m truly depressed and when I’m not has become a challenging task. Every few days, I find myself sinking into a state of exhaustion and sorrow, feeling drained and helpless. It’s like being drenched in a storm of memories and emotions that I can’t escape, no matter how hard I try.

Sleep eludes me, as my mind races with a thousand thoughts, flashing back to past traumas that haunt me even in the daylight. The burden is so heavy that I shiver just recounting these experiences. It’s a horrific cycle, and sharing it with others often seems like a gamble. The fear of how someone will react—whether they’ll understand or take advantage of my vulnerability—makes it even more daunting.

Despite the struggle, life doesn’t pause. I still have to manage daily responsibilities, endure judgment, and keep moving forward. I’ve tried both extremes: oversharing in an attempt to seek relief, and keeping everything bottled up inside. Neither approach provided the solace I needed. I’ve learned that, at times, relying on others might not be the answer. If you’re struggling, you might find that even in your darkest moments, people may not fully grasp your pain, and their judgments can feel harsh and unfair.

So, what do we do in these circumstances? Should we surrender to the storm? Absolutely not. I’ve discovered that, in the midst of turmoil, it’s crucial to build a connection with a higher power. Whether you see this as God, the universe, or simply a profound force of energy, connecting with this higher source can offer unexpected guidance and support.

Believe in the power of energy. There’s a vast spectrum of energies in the universe—some high, some low. I choose to believe in a higher energy, a force that transcends all others. This higher power, which I call God or Hope, has been a guiding light in my life. It’s helped me find strength and resilience, even when I felt utterly alone.

This energy will not let you down. It will show you how to help yourself and navigate through the darkness. It’s not a cure-all, but it’s a companion in your journey. You may still cry, shout, and struggle with sleep, but remember, you don’t have to face it all alone. Connecting with this higher power can make a difference.

In the end, the battle with depression is ongoing, but it’s about learning to rise above the storm. You can’t always rid yourself of your demons, but you can learn to soar above them. Keep faith in yourself, trust in the higher power, and never give up. This is my secret, my truth. It may resonate with you, too.